I cried right through the end of this touching documentary that shines a light on the experience of hidden carers.
Everybody’s Oma starts off as a slick production due to filmmaker Jason van Genderen’s skills as a videographer. He began compulsively filming his family after his father’s diagnosis with a terminal illness. When his mum Hendrika (called Puck and the Oma of the title) struggled to cope after his death, Jason and his wife Megan bought a home with a self-contained ‘granny flat’ so she could move in with them and their young family.
As her Alzheimer’s progressed, filming became a way to gather memories and anchor her to the present. Jason, being a creative and compulsive visual storyteller, posted a video of Oma to socials that took on a life of its own when it garnered international attention for their attempts, during the pandemic, to provide normality for Oma during lockdown.
For a while, this documentary felt like something of an ego piece for Jason. A lot of the footage centred on his experience and emotions – the scene where he dramatically emailed his clients to let them know he was shutting down his business to be a full-time carer stood out due to the lack of a similar focus on Megan. But, as any carer of an elderly parent will know, particularly where dementia is involved, you can only control the narrative for a while before it overwhelms you.
The story really gripped me when I realised it was not really about Oma but about being a son or a daughter, about being a carer because you can’t bear the thought of letting go of your parent. It begins to feel like a privilege to be given a window into Jason and Megan’s lives. It gets hard, there’s no way it’s not going to, and we get some understanding of the experience that so many people are going through across the world.
It made me miss my mum and dad so much. It’s easy to get caught up in the challenges of the last years of their lives and forget the vibrancy of the time before. Don’t we all wish we had footage of our parents to hold close to our hearts after they’ve gone? Everybody’s Oma helps us feel a little less alone in the many joys and heartaches of caring.
Have you seen this film? Let me know your thoughts.
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