I had a bit of a revelation after watching this documentary about a Palestinian doctor working in Gaza and Israel, that if you want to understand situations like this, conflicts that are happening all over the world, the best way is to watch a documentary about it.

Something that is a first person account or that shows the personal impact of that conflict on individuals and families. Don’t go scrolling through social media and think you are getting the full picture. Because it’s not about one side being right and the other side being wrong but about what do you need to do for there to be peace. 

This documentary by Tal Barda works as a bit of a primer to the history of Israel’s occupation of Palestine and in particular the siege of Gaza. We see it through the story of Doctor Izzeldin Abuelaish, a Palestinian living in Gaza with his six children, who feels strongly that peace will only come with both sides working together. That violence will only bring more violence.

He is a valued OB/GYN, allowed to cross back-and-forth across the border from Gaza to Tel Aviv because his contribution to healthcare for both Israelis and Palestinians is recognised and respected. 

When the bombing of Gaza begins in 2008, he acts as a default spokesperson from behind the lines, speaking with a journalist on Israeli television about what’s happening on the ground. He makes a phone call to the same journalist on the night that a tank sits outside of his home and then two nights later when a tank shells the bedroom of his daughters. It is a unique and gripping moment of live television as the journalist takes his call on air and you can hear his distress at the death of three of his daughters.

It’s impossible not to be moved, and to see how he really felt that somehow because he was respected in Israel that he and his family might be safe. Not long after the attack, he and his remaining children move to Toronto. 

What is remarkable about him and his children is that they do not harbour hate for Israel, they still just want a way forward for peace so that the deaths of Bessan, Mayar and Aya and his niece Noor won’t be repeated again and again and again. 

As you can imagine, it is an emotional and often bleak experience seeing how little impact his high profile tragedy has had on the ongoing siege and bombing of Gaza. It made me feel really despondent at the lack of humanity being shown by those with the military power, both Israeli army and Hamas. 

One of the most powerful things you can do in this world, is to admit when you are wrong. It seems such a simple thing to say but I’ve seen it on so many levels – in personal relationships, community organisations, by governments – the inability to apologise. It is only by acknowledging what we have done wrong that we can do things better. 

It feels hopeless so all I can think about tonight is an experience I had earlier in the evening where I sang together with 30 women who I didn’t know. There is something deeply unifying about singing together, even with people you have never met and with people who don’t think they can sing. 

This is the only advice I can give to cope with the awful reminder that there are monsters in this world in positions of power who don’t value human rights or the humanity of the individual. And to watch documentaries like this one and get out of your social media bubble.